sometimes my brains tunes in on conversations that aren't in this reality, and sometimes it sounds like they're speaking to me. one time, a masculine but high pitched voice told me "that's too much tylenol". i still don't understand what he meant, since there was no tylenol involved with that day...sometimes my brains tunes in on conversations that aren't in this reality, and sometimes it sounds like they're speaking to me. one time, a masculine but high pitched voice told me "that's too much tylenol". i still don't understand what he meant, since there was no tylenol involved with that day. most of the time, it just sounds like men talking between each other that is just a bit too unclear. it doesn't sound like it's coming from anywhere, but not like my own thoughts, either. it's like using earbuds and listening to something really loud, especially those things that sound like they're circling you, but as if they were talking to you from every direction. and sometimes i do hear things that come from other places, like music coming from certain spots in my house but never being able to find the cause of, or women screaming in a mix of pain and terror from the woods, wherever they are. it happens like... twice or so a week now.
and sometimes i'll tune in to visuals, like bugs crawling all over things, or all over me. or shadow people and "the rake" like creatures who do nothing but stare at me, never leaving, for hours on end. they just stand there, or lay there, or whatever they feel like. it doesn't matter if i turn the lights on or off, or how close i get. sometimes i can hear them breathing. when i was younger, i'd have something that looked like the rake outside my closet, and for years, he'd just sit there, staring. he looked scarier than the rake. i constantly had nightmares and felt like hands were touching all over my thighs and hips. i don't sleep in there anymore, obviously. he's still in there at night. Show more

it feels like i stole somebody else's body, and i'm waiting for them to come back. it feels so weird to move, so weird to think i have a physical form in the first place; i feel like i'm being forced out of my own mind when i realise i have a physical form and i'm not just... some entity on the...it feels like i stole somebody else's body, and i'm waiting for them to come back. it feels so weird to move, so weird to think i have a physical form in the first place; i feel like i'm being forced out of my own mind when i realise i have a physical form and i'm not just... some entity on the internet that isn't really identifiable in any way. it feels like the world is punishing me for stealing somebody's body, making others take it from me, filling my mind with words and conversations that aren't mine, making my reality faulty. but i don't remember robbing anyone of it; i didn't get any choice in being here. i just want to be free of my body. i'm tired of constantly getting comments on my body shape and my legs. i'm tired of feeling constantly ill unless i don't eat anything. nothing feels like mine. it just feels like tragedy follows me, my mere presence brings it, no matter what i do or think and try. i'm so tired
please take back your body. i'm sorry i broke it. i'm sorry i ruined your life. please just take it back take it back take it back i'm not supposed to be in this form take it back Show more

i think all humans deserve to be completely destroyed, even nothumans with human bodies. all we do is harm eachother. such creatures don't deserve to live. we all deserve to die in a quick swipe of the hand- an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. they can't understand the damage they've done.

was i too late?

i've become so secretive about all of my interests at this point- i'm afraid somebody's going to copy me. i want to keep what makes me happy to myself, make it my own and only my own, even though i know it's stupid and selfish to do so. i don't understand why i'm so happy being some level of...i've become so secretive about all of my interests at this point- i'm afraid somebody's going to copy me. i want to keep what makes me happy to myself, make it my own and only my own, even though i know it's stupid and selfish to do so. i don't understand why i'm so happy being some level of unknown to others, why i need to be alone so much- i just know i am? Show more

i'm so tired of being called crazy by my family whenever i try to talk about my issues. i know everyone is lying to me- this isn't the real world, and this isn't where i was meant to be. i don't understand why they can't just tell me. people keep saying that i am the god of my own world, that i am...i'm so tired of being called crazy by my family whenever i try to talk about my issues. i know everyone is lying to me- this isn't the real world, and this isn't where i was meant to be. i don't understand why they can't just tell me. people keep saying that i am the god of my own world, that i am the creator of everything around me- we talk about energy a lot now, too, how it can't be created nor destroyed.
if energy cannot be created nor destroyed, then how does the idea of god- a creator- thrive so well? why would i, out of all people, be the one to create a world that only causes me pain? what did i do to warrant all of this confusion and trauma? Show more

hello again world or the roughly 40 people who occupy this website;;
has anyone here heard of otherkin or identify with it?
personally, i think i could be some form of conceptkin, like timekin, energykin, or deathkin. i don't really know yet; it's upsetting to try the meditations to get more...hello again world or the roughly 40 people who occupy this website;;
has anyone here heard of otherkin or identify with it?
personally, i think i could be some form of conceptkin, like timekin, energykin, or deathkin. i don't really know yet; it's upsetting to try the meditations to get more clarity, because the only world i can imagine is unstable and fails to seem like any "normal" world, like being a wolf in the forest or in a normal room. the world is almost like a void, yet bending to my will and creating what i want. i might be doing it incorrectly- but whatever i am, i think the idea of otherkin is extremely interesting to consider.
does anyone here believe in ghosts or reincarnation? Show more

i am so tired of being limited. i want to be free of it all

hello world? do many people use this site much?